LOVE UNWORTH.

release me from thy divine embrace for i am not worthy of such warmth. i am to gaze within the galaxies of thy eyes o' elegant hues but thou aren't 'pose to look 'pon mine own . i am unworthy of this exquisite emotion that bursts within thy chest , t'is emotion we all call love.

rules

NAVIGATION.

mains!

first , mains =/= exclusives .  i will still interact with other muses of these characters . however , i will give my priority to them . i will take two per character . if you wish to be one just hit me up in my IM & i’ll see if we can bloom chemistry between them . 

romantic shipping  however is only given to one main despite being EXCLUSIVE MULTISHIP . please respect this , thank you.

other blogs!


i.  you sit across a   star  -  eyed  boy  ; beneath the blanket of stars that bestow upon you like lustrous diamonds   //    &   whenever you glance at him , you wonder if those heavenly bodies also burn within those purple gradients .  &  if he inhales stardust as well . &  he does . he just  doesn’t  know .

 a star glides , running across navy heaven . he smiles .

 ‘  i want to be a shoting star , too .  ‘  he says .  why ?  you ask .

i wasn't able to make my own wishes real.



ii.  you sit beside  a  boy  with  sun’s  beams  buried  in  his  hair  .    //    raised above you ; the sun . it’s shining . it’s bright . but when you look beside you , you forgot it exists . because something’s shining much more brighter . much more prettier . 

& they say the sun was the closest star .

iii.  you lay against the grazing grass  ;   a  canvas  of  green  ,  adorned  with  a  variety  of  flowers  .  he says he envies all of them . they’re all so beautiful & he wishes he was beautiful too . but you think he’s foolish . you think the mirror lies whenever he looks at it . he says he hates his imperfection . but you see sown upon those flaws were seeds ---  those seeds grow flowers .

he has flowers growing in his skin , his body , his soul.

iv. you want to paint his face  across  the  sky  . you want to make a constellation out of his image . paint his face upon the heavens & everyone will forget about the garnish sun . the unfortunate stars will now shine in shame for there’s something more prettier than them . the flowers will be blessed to be graced upon such a lovely image then . 

& you start to believe


v. but it appears that angels cry too  &   here’s  one  weeping  before  you  .  he’s weak against the cold floor as his hand reaches out to you . apparently , angels hurt . angels feel pain . angels weep , angels cry , angels cry & seeing one doing so hurts . there’s a weak smile on his face as he asks you a question .

' will you leave like she did? '


I'M BEGGING YOU , PLEASE STAY .

warnings for the following : abortion mention , suicide mention , depression .

*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･

they say that angels do not exist. to believe in such heavenly beings is foolish . there are no entities that brim in such beauty , such fineness & holiness . they are fictional , they are fake . they are the lies scripted in the pages of the books you read.

they say that shooting stars cannot make wishes come true . a shooting star , scientifically speaking , is but a burning rock racing towards the ground : & as it gets faster , it burns .  it burns &  burns &  burns till it crisps into eternal nothingness & dies , falling into the void of oblivion . 

but here lies the tale that’ll prove that beliefs wrong . a tale that’ll make you believe that angels do exist . a tale that’ll make you believe that shooting stars can make wishes come true . it is the tragedy of tragedies , that’ll turn into a book that shalt give you hope . 

t’is the tale of the angel who fell in the form of a shooting star.

*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･

            on a snowy day on the third of may  ;   a bright light glides throughout the winter sky . a baby’s cry is heard underneath the ivory - kissed blanket  &  here our story begins.

   ‘ you’ll give birth to a beautiful , beautiful baby boy!  ‘ the fortune teller predicts days before , bright smile on wrinkled lips . the female , however ,  frowned .  she didn’t want a baby . she wanted it gone ,  dead ,  gone gone gone .  it was unwanted , a  slip up  from her little ‘ fun time ‘ with a boy who didn’t even bother to return .  & now here she lies , stuck with a child she didn’t wish to have . in various of ways she tried to kill the being growing inside of her . fall off the stairs . drink pills , alcohol . tire yourself out , anything for it’s chances of living to shrink. but yet , before she could do any of those , her sister ceased her : ‘ don’t . ‘ she says , ‘  what a waste of beauty you’ll do . ‘ 

  &  reluctantly , she didn’t . so on the third of may came out a beautiful baby boy .  mother refuses to name her son  &  lets her sister take the privilege . ‘ yoosung ‘ , she said , ‘ because it means shooting star , i believe .  &  a shooting star passed by the exact moment he was born .  he’s a gift .  ‘

 a soft cry rings out from the child . ‘ he’s a mistake ‘ his mother had said , ‘ he’s so beautiful , though ‘ his sister contradicts .

  alas ,  this is the prologue of the tale . the beginning of a beautiful mistake .

*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･

      i wish to be like everyone else is what he always asked to the stars . he wishes to fit in , to be loved  &  cherished . especially by his mother . but his wishes cannot come true if she keeps avoiding his gaze . his prayer cannot be accomplished if she keeps ignoring his words / failing to give him recognition . his desire cannot be committed if she doesn’t love him in the first place .

  as a substitute , his auntie was there . she spoiled him endlessly but he always said no , but gladly accepted her love anyway . though he wishes his mother could give the same . that sweet little smile  &  those loving words . that love that she gave him . he wanted that from her but that was the only thing he cannot receive .

  ‘ where’s dad? ‘ he once asked his aunt , voice innocent &  soft . he is the concept of naivety  & epitome of gullibility . in anything , he’d believe for facts is what he lacks . ‘ everyone in my school has a dad . do i have a dad? ‘

  lip - bitten smile is bestowed . ‘ yes ‘ she lies , &  she was the guilty for his obliviousness to grow , ‘ he’s overseas. always very busy . he loves you very much . ‘

  in a father he didn’t have he believed in. 

*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･

      a shining star he was  & they knew this . a good boy he was in class &  the teachers recognize this . however , all compliments fail to paint a smile on lips despite him never able to get this from his mother . ‘a golden star i have’ , he’d say   /  ‘ a perfect score i have ‘, he’d boast  /   ‘ everyone loves me in class , ma  ‘ he’d cry , ‘ everyone but you.  ‘ 

 all came crippling down with mama found a loving husband . he had a dad , a  step - father . he was glad that he did but he was not glad that he was the same . he did not love him for he was not his son . he was an extra in this little family that started to grow , a mistake of a flower that wasn’t supposed to sprout .

 soon came a sister . she was so beautiful , so ,  so  beautiful : hazelnut hair that grew until her back , wondrous smile that sent everyone aback , shining blue eyes that’ll send you in awe , perfect existence that his mother saw .

 she was perfect . she was meant to be here  /  he was imperfect . he was a mistake .

 so why bother ?

 ‘  mama told me you’re just a slip up from a bad boyfriend ‘ she once told him. all words she said next are mute . 

 somehow , somehow , he could feel himself slowly being tugged down by a heavy weight .

 he’s about to fall into an ocean of his tears.

*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･

       he longs for escape  a vagabond he might be but he does not care . he wishes to free himself from this prison of hell , a prison where he was unloved &  a stranger to the house. his mother constantly reminds him on how he was but a slip up  /  wrong doing  / mistake  as she laughs  &  smiles with them . he envies it so much .

  auntie died .  left with him was her cat . another heavy tug was felt on his feet , a tug that was painful .  that tug was felt at a monochromatic day . the rain that poured down like bullets felt like it was draining all the color found in his life . the funeral was sad , almost empty with no one but him mostly . he cried along with the sky , hands covering face as knees sank in the mud of the ground .

 for the next years of his life , he was quiet  &  introverted . he always wishes to the stars but got nothing . he always sent paper airplanes to the sky on 11:11s but got nothing . he counts 9 stars in 9 days but gets nothing . all these lies & telltales he’s believing in for he was desperate for validation /  love but he gets nothing.

 college came. he was kicked out &  he lived alone in a dusty apartment .

  the tug pulls him deeper . he’s drowning.

*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･

    a struck of light he saw as he reached out as he drowns .  it is the light visible you see when you sink into the water deeper . the light , surprisingly , leans in &  reaches for him . the sun has came to bring brightness to his darkness . the sun has came down to rain upon him instead of stormy clouds . the sun came in a form of a beautiful girl with blonde hair & green eyes .

  the sun came down in a form of a girl named rika .  his savior , his light , his sun , his closest star &  his beloved . 

 he’s never met any of his cousins before . were they even considered his cousins though he was a mistake?  he didn’t know what to believe in  now . but rika was kind , smart , beautiful &  all in all the sister he wished he had . she made him laugh , smile , grin  &  all the other thing he wasn’t able to do in a million of years . she gave him the best gift he could ever receive : purpose .

 & thus the angelic being strives to do everything to make her proud . he studied hard , volunteered in many &  learned how to cook for him to help her whenever she needed it . he did everything to return everything she did for him. she was the most important being he ever had in his life . she was his savior .

 & in a small group he was welcomed after .  RFA it was called . there he met several others who , too , were all wounded . the family he wished he had received .

 yes , pain doesn’t last .

 but happiness doesn’t either.

*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･*. : ｡ ✧*ﾟ･

      she’s gone & he’s a goner .  in the midst of laughs , smiles &  whatnot came the biggest tragedy of all . his shooting star had died . his wish didn’t lied . his sun extinguished & she extinguished herself .  she’s gone .

  purpose is lost . he doesn’t have it anymore . in a void of sadness he fell in for eternity . what’s the point of continuing ?  he didn’t have a source of happiness . a source of light , a source of purpose . he can no longer have motivation to continue .

 in the world of games he drowned himself in . what’s the point of having a brighter future without her ?

 his wishes did not come true , you see . & he doesn’t wish anyone to feel that .

 so , he’d be the shooting star . he’d do everything to make everyone’s wishes come true .

 &  to make her happy . make her  proud .

 the story doesn’t end here . 

dear

yoosung kim
darling star / sunshine boy
YOU ROT IN MY ARMS ON MAY & SO DID MY WINGS ON APRIL

star


highly selective & canon divergent
eversince 092416 , revamped on 112516
written by miles.
main activity over at @aueax / @deiteh !